Day 6 of my journey into the Heart of Beardness. Only time will tell if this is a futile attempt at ridiculous macho nonsense or if it will in fact be a many-splendoured thing unheralded in the history of my face.
Either way, God is good.
The last few days have witnessed enormous developments in my own sanctification as, by God’s grace, I’ve come to grips with several failings on my part with relationships and with the impact my family has had on me throughout my lifetime. God has endeared Himself to me more deeply than ever as a Heavenly Father, for He knows my frame and remembers that I am dust (Psalm 103:14). He knows in particular that I feel a burden for my father and yearn to redress years of heartache associated with our life together, and He knows perfectly that I am too timid to tackle the challenge head-on myself. He knows that though I feel such passion in my heart to speak the truth in love, part of me is still that nervous little boy who fears the revoking of love if his heart is laid bare and people are called to account for their actions.
God knows that for progress to be made and for this floodwater to be crossed, He will have to take the initiative and lay for me a precise series of stepping stones that I may move forward and not be swept into the deluge; God knows that I need a Sovereign who mercifully leads His children along the way and is with them every moment and every step; God knows that I need a director and a script supervisor to ensure that the words come out right and convey perfectly what needs to be said; God knows that I need a furnace of fortitude in my heart and that He must pump the fuel of courage into it steadily that I will not falter. God knows this all and promises that He will never forsake His people and He will never abandon His heritage (Psalm 94:14).
God brought me across the waters and kept my feet from slipping, and Monday was simply an amazing day as twenty-six years worth of baggage was discussed and examined. Much was brought to light; understanding was imparted, and a heavy, strangling burden was lifted off of my shoulders. It was so revolutionary, in fact, that I felt like a new man! I had many, many friends interceding in prayer and I can only say thank you from the bottom of my heart. The effectual fervent prayer of the righteous does avail much.
As tattered strands of relationships are re-sewn and strengthened by grace, humility, and forgiveness, I can only praise God for His many mighty works and wonder at how I should be the recipient of so many blessings. Ponder soon and ponder deeply on what God has blessed you with, marvel at the question of why you should be gifted with these things and not others, and resolve to seek God’s enabling power to further His purpose where He has placed you with what He has equipped you with.
Quick! Name six things to be thankful for!
1. Boss is 23!
2. A.J. has tons of hair!
3. Joel is divebombing with school-owned airplanes out west!
4. Jeremy looks great in scrubs and Wolverine mutton chops!
5. Kristin melts my heart with her smile!
6. I found out how to rotate the tires of our Malibu myself!*
*Albeit in a time so pathetic I would be disqualified from ever participating in any NASCAR pit crew.**
**Not that I would ever do that anyway. I have this pet peeve for ludicrously stupid things.